Don't Eat The Gum !

If you ever get the bright idea to try one of the old piece's of gum that come in the wax packs of old sports trading cards, please let me be the first and hopefully not the last one to warn you NOT TO! I guess opening an entire box of 18 year old hockey cards finally got the best of me. I'm not sure why I did it. Curiosity? Nostalgia? Maybe just to say I did it? Well I did do it. And I regret all 5 seconds of it. There wasn't even a bazooka gum-like taste that I was expecting. I could taste the CARDBOARD in the gum. Maybe plastic? It actually tasted like I chewed on an old notebook from my freshman year. Of HIGH SCHOOL, not college. It smelled somewhat like gum should smell but in the 18 years that it was prisoner inside that wax pack it had somehow morphed into something quite unrecognizable. It was crunchy and broke into what seemed like 30 tiny pieces in my mouth and then almost instantly started to turn into this sugar-saliva concoction hell-bent on destroying my taste buds. FOREVER! When you find yourself in the same position as I and the gum looks like, um, it might be O.K. - please think twice and refrain from putting that anywhere near your lips. Smell it if you like. No, check that, only smell it if you MUST. But definitely DO NOT EAT THE GUM! It will change your life. And not in a good way.